When You Feel Like Hell -Why It's Okay to Do Nothing
What is Hell?
Hell is having the complete self-awareness to know that you are in a bad place in your career, in your relationship and in your life.
Hell is having a burning desire for a different outcome, but you don’t know how to go about the situation differently.
Hell is not having the resources to find the people who can provide the know-how.
Hell is the realization that you are limited in your resourcefulness to figure out the next steps.
And hell is lacking any support in your professional and personal life. You are walking a tightrope without any safety net.
That is hell. And you are tired of trying. You make incremental steps forward, then a landslide. You are back where you begin. Your trying hasn’t been good enough. And even then, you are getting messages that good enough is mediocre, so why try?
Yes, it’s hell.
You are in a very dark place. And you’re in it so deep, you’re not sure if you can get out of it. Or want to. I know this because I have been here. Many times.
Normally, my post would make a list of suggestions to help you turn things around. But you already felt beat up by all the well-meaning advice, self-help articles and affirmations that managed to roll off you like Teflon.
You have the intelligence to already incorporate a system that worked for you before and which made you adaptive and resilient. Perhaps your system included morning prayers or meditation and some form of physical exercise. But this time, none of them worked.
You are in hell.
What if it is okay for you to be here? To feel this feeling. To feel this sad, this angry, this disappointed, this hurt. It is nothing to be ashamed of or apologize for. It doesn’t show that you are weak. It just shows that you are capable of being vulnerable. You’re human. How f*cking awesome is that!
Why is that mere fact a cause to celebrate? Well, you haven’t turned into a damn robot! You haven’t cut off your emotions. You haven’t built walls to keep sadness out. If you’ve built up walls, sadness is not the only thing you will keeping out. It includes love, joy and all other beautiful emotions that matter most to you. These things are on the extreme end of where you are now. You will get to that other end again, and when you get there, you will experience them fully and powerfully because you were here. Hell.
Given your track record of having survived what you survived, given your track record of the courage you’ve gained, the inner strength you’ve amassed, you will crawl back out, and you will once more, see the survivor that you are.
What beauty is this! Having been here, in this darkest of place, there can be nothing else you can’t handle. That knowing, that confidence will be your saving grace.
Until then, I will sit with you. Here in this dark place.